We’re home now but before I write about that I have a couple of blogs I wasn’t able to finish. For my own memory I want to finish them. I will start where I left off.

While we were waiting to legalize documents at the Ministry of Justice Irina took the kids to begin their medical exams. When we finished Oleg rushed us to the medical department to meet them.

I’m not sure I have ever experienced the chaos that I did on this day. You know those documentary/educational movies on ants. Some how a camera gets inside the nest and all the viewer sees is ants everywhere going in ever direction, crawling over one another to get where they need to go. And yet in that confusion there is order, nearly impossible for the viewer to see. There are soldiers, workers, nursery ants, eggs and of course, the queen. And the whole point is family increase. Every ant must do their part. It is a fine balance. But lurking somewhere nearby is the accursed anteater threatening complete destruction. If there is one wrong move…

I’m not sure what role everyone played. I do know that Oleg and Irina know and work the system like the back of their hands. They seem to be everywhere at once, striking chords at just the right moment, the model of perfection. My presence is only for looks and an occasional signature. I learned early on to give up any pretenses of control. To go and do what you are told as quickly and cooperatively as possible is your best hope of success and happiness when adopting in Ukraine. It is the only way to avoid the anteater. I never figured out exactly who or what the predator was. Probably it had many aliases. I only knew it was ever present and lurking, hungry for a tasty meal of Americans and orphans. Thankfully the crew proved to be more than competent and I felt completely comfortable placing full confidence in them.

People selling veggies and other items on the streets of Kiev.

In order to get visas the girls had to have a medical exam. The medical center was a step up from the hospital I was obliged to visit. Apparently it serves only foreigners. So they put their best foot forward. Still, that foot was not covered with a stiletto but rather something more like a flip flop.

Right when I walked in Irina ushered the girls and me into the doctor’s office. Almost right away I discerned the doctor possessed the same personality as nearly all of the other authorities and officials we have worked with. From what I have experienced, which certainly isn’t much, the average Ukrainian is abrupt and intimidating, yet kind and wise at heart.

Her manner intimidated and frustrated me right away. These kids have been told their whole lives they are stupid and no one wants them. It makes me so angry. This doctor was no exception. But when you stop to consider it is obvious these authority figures are not trying to be mean. In fact, they care. Still, they speak their minds freely with no consideration to another’s feelings.

When I walked in she pointed me to a chair and proceeded to look over the girls’ medical records {all handwritten in notebooks.} I assumed she didn’t speak English. Let me just say right here that this is a very BAD assumption to make. This assumption put me in more than one sticky situation. When she finished she looked up and explained in fairly good English that she needed chest ex-rays to check for TB but everything else seemed fine.

The escalator leading to the subway. It is three stories down.

She stood up to begin the medical exam and then asked me if I had children at home. When I told her three she looked at me hard and barked, “That is not enough?” My blood instantly boiled. Who was she to say something like that to me. I told her no. I wanted these, too. She didn’t like that answer. Just in the nick of time Oleg’s head appeared in the door and he whisked me off to make signatures and payments.

When I went back in she had softened somewhat. She sat me down again and proceeded to give me a lecture. I also had time to simmer and decided to listen to what she had to say. Surely there would be something of value.

Notice the carpet. This is the first carpet I've seen here.

In her broken English this is what I got. She began by telling me that this is a very bad time to adopt. She doesn’t recommend it. {It’s a little late for that.} She said when young children are upset they throw a fit. “Blah, blah, blah.” But the next day they are fine. Kids this age hold things inside but they don’t forget. You never know what they are thinking. Then she told me her father remarried when she was this age and it was very hard for her. From what I understand she didn’t bond well with her new mother. Then she said these kids have no foundation. They are raised in an institution with no father and mother. They don’t have firm understanding of right and wrong. She said you must be firm but not too firm. She held up her hands indicating there is a narrow passage for proper discipline. She said in the states there is too much freedom. Kids don’t learn respect for their parents and others.

In the end she told me she thought I was crazy and wished me luck. Not a bad lecture, if I had to be lectured. I must admit I am becoming quite a pro at being on the other end of them.

From the medical center we went back to the Department of Justice, to the Embassy and back to the medical center. Oleg and Irina were only slightly frazzled by the end of the day. I was dazed enough to not recognize any of the buildings when we made our return trips to them. In fact I didn’t even realize I was in the Dept. of Justice building until after I walked in and sat down. Maybe it was the lack of the sardine effect. This time it was empty of people.

On the train.

The apartments in Kiev’s city center were occupied so we stayed on the other side of the river. To date it was the nicest apartment I’ve been in. Too bad it was the last. The adults went to the market and left the kids at home. With them we left eight bananas and four apples. When we came back they were gone. You cannot believe the way they eat fruits and vegetables.

The bathroom on the train. What I wouldn't give for even an airplane lavratory.

Yana was able to spend our last day in Kiev with us. She arrived in the morning. The kids were still sleeping. I rubbed Karina’s foot to wake her up. She opened her eyes and jumped out of bed in the same breath. She adores her sister. When Yana left that night Karina would not let go of her. Oh, it was so sad. Yana hugged and kissed me twice. I assured her Karina would keep in touch. Karina woke up in the middle of that night crying for her sister.

All we had to do on our last day was visit the Embassy twice; once in the morning to drop off passports and sign some things and then in the afternoon to make more signatures, pick up visas and immigration paperwork.

When we came out of the Embassy Oleg told the girls we were successful in getting their visas. Liuba through her arms in the air and cried, “victory” and said something about America. All the girls jumped up and down passing out high fives and hugs. They were going to America. I wish I had my video camera.

Amy and I wanted to say goodbye to Ocsana and since we were staying near where she lives we spent the evening at her apartment. I got to meet her two boys. They are adorable. Every question I asked her six year old in Russian he proudly answered in English. So cute. Her four year old was the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen with curly blond hair and blue eyes. Oleg and Ocsana have struggled with him. He was normal until he was two and then over the course of a year he digressed back to and infant state. He is autistic and Ocsana is convinced it is due to immunizations. She has him on a special diet and thankfully he is improving.

In Ukraine there is next to no hope for a person with special needs. There are no programs or schools to help. They are scorned and shunned. To be called retarded or crazy is the worst insult a person could receive. It is heartbreaking. The kids at the orphanage were always calling each other crazy. They would point their finger to their temple and twist it. The person inflicting the insult laughed but the insulted did not think it was funny. Their lips smiled but their eyes showed obvious hurt.

I cannot say enough nice things about Ocsana. She puts her whole heart into these adoptions and is absolutely amazing. {Sorry to embarrass you if you’re reading but I have to say it :}

P.S. Aunt Lana, you should feel honored. Irina is great just like you.