How do you make a day utterly eventless worth writing and reading about? Here goes.

The Soderberg’s left early this morning for Dnipropotrovsk. I was still sleeping and told them to take the key. When I did wake up I remembered I needed to buy a card for my phone. I was completely out of minutes, which is equivalent to having no connection. You cannot make or receives calls or text. The Strader’s were going to come sometime to do laundry and I didn’t want to be unavailable. So I hurried to get out the door.

Therein was my problem. I couldn’t get out the door. How hard could it be to unbolt a door? I had never had a problem with it before. But try as I might I couldn’t get it open. Apparently when locked with the key it cannot be unlocked without it. Not a big deal. I would call and have someone unlock it, except my phone was dead.

I was stuck. I would have to wait and hope someone would wonder where I was. What a horrible feeling. It wasn’t that I had really had anywhere to go or was trapped in a burning building {although if it had been burning I would have been a gonner.} It was just a completely helpless and lonely feeling. Ugh.

Finally I thought I would email someone and hope they would find it before too long. Thankfully they did. Then I was granted a small miracle. Last night when I was talking to Dave my phone died. I had tried calling and texting this morning hoping I might get through. But invariably a lady speaking Russian would say something and I would be cut off or my text would be denied.

But, suddenly my phone rang. Oh, blessed sound. Lena had gotten the message. She said there should be another key but I couldn’t find it. I told her I would keep looking. Then the phone rang again. It was Leslie Strader. I had been worried they would want to do their laundry but wouldn’t be able to get in touch with me. She did say she had called several times and hadn’t had luck until now. They were going to their Julia’s checker tournament and couldn’t come anyway. That was good since I couldn’t let them in if they did.

My phone rang one more time. It was Lena again with good and bad news. The bad news was she had unknowingly taken the other set of keys. The good was Constantine would get off work and let me out at three o’clock and she would put minutes on my phone for me. Just when she was about to say goodbye my phone died again. Such a silly little thing, really. But evidence that the Lord loves us and hears and answers prayers.

Illustrating the state of the side walk.

I was finally released from my prison cell a little after three. I have to take a minute to praise the “staff” here. They not only have their ducks in a row but go above and beyond the call of duty. It is not enough to have the i’s dotted and the t’s crossed. They want to make sure we are happy and taken care of. I am very grateful.

After a twenty-minute tour and explanation by Constantine in nine parts Russian and one part English, about his home makeovers, which are quite impressive, we were off to the school. His internet has been down and he explained to me on the way why; something about the whole town being without internet because of the economy and the Mafia. He left me with instructions to call him when I wanted to go back.

I was motioned at the office to go find the girls. Luckily I had previously been shown their classroom. I’m not completely sure of the structure at the orphanage but I have noticed that they stay with their classes. Liuba and Karina’s class only has about ten students. When I pick the girls up they are in their classroom and when I leave they go back there. From what their teacher said discipline is strict but as I have said she is kind and the girls seem to like her. At least they aren’t afraid of her.

One of the building at the orphanage. Liuba and Karina's classroom is here.

“Magazine?” They asked/begged. I wasn’t about to try and entertain them at the orphanage not to mention that after my isolation I needed to walk. So I said, “da.” As we started Liuba asked when we were going to America. {Our communication is getting slowly but progressively better. I have mastered the “I don’t understand” phrase and they try to tell me in a different way, even if it is just louder and slower Russian.} I held up fourteen fingers, which is a very optimistic estimate. Liuba said, “Maya?” I confirmed. She laughed, clapped and jumped up and down.

The walk to the store wasn’t long enough for me today so we walked a circuitous route; down what I call main-street, across center street and back to the orphanage. It was a beautiful day, the perfect temperature and I must admit nature adds a certain qualified beauty to this otherwise dismal place. Some of the buildings almost looked charming surrounded by green trees.

I gave the girls their allotment and they did much better today. They haven’t quite figured out the dollar/cent thing but they have figured out they should stick with one thing amounting to less than what they have. They were thrilled to get more than half of their money back. Liuba gives me her change for safekeeping. Karina prefers to keep hers. This is interesting as one of the other girls told her the other day that we had told her to make Karina give her the change. Natashia got after the girl the next day so maybe she won’t do it again.

Attempting to entertain at the orpanage.

We passed the scone place on the way back and the girls stopped and bought some. They are becoming quite adept at ordering and paying. They may beg but I will say they are very generous in sharing whatever they have. So far Liuba and Karina have gotten along well. Once in a while they speak in a harsh tone but generally they treat each other with respect and kindness. I’m hoping some of these attributes rub off on the kids at home.

I am happy to report that we all departed in peace today. Usually one, two or all of us leave pouting or disgruntled. But today Liuba and Karina left with many hugs and kisses. Phew. Maybe there is hope.

Another session of waiting was in store for me. Constantine had to make an unexpected trip to Novemoskov so I was destined to wait for over an hour after I dropped off the girls for him to come back. Some of the other girls at the orphanage kept me company. We played Frisbee and soccer. One of the girls even gave me a sketch she had drawn of the Savior’s hands. How sweet.

After the store.

Constantine and I “talked” on the way back. The conversation led to Ukraine geography and when we got here he said he would just stay for five minutes. He got out the atlas and showed the different regions of Ukraine, Russia and the Black Sea. He says the Black Sea is very nice and the visibility in the water is quite far.

I showed Constantine some pictures one day and we came across one of Rubee. He said his wife wants a dog. Another day he brought his wife and daughter over to look at the picture. He asked when Rubee would have puppies and wants us to send him one. Hmmm. I would be happy to but the getting it here may prove a little difficult. He wants us to send it with another family. I’m not sure how that would go over; twenty-four hours in airports and airplanes with a puppy. I have to admit I am becoming quite fond of these people and will miss them when I leave.

We took the night train to Kiev on Monday night. I much prefer it to the day train. Still, it is quite an experience. George bought tickets at our arrival. Apparently there were no tickets. But Constantine knew someone. “Me, mafia,” He likes to say. Our train left at 11:23. Natashia and I were busy looking at pictures when it pulled up. People began running in every direction. Dave asked if we shouldn’t be running, too. But Natashia didn’t seem worried so I didn’t either. Come to find out, George told her not to. He said our car would pull up to where we were standing. Not so. There are no last calls with the train. You’re either on or you’re not. And frankly, they don’t give a flying hoot. So we grabbed our luggage and ran. Natashia asked a stewardess how close our car was. She told us we better run faster. Insert Indiana Jones music.

On the train you can either sleep in the common area or you can pay more for a booth containing four bunks. Natashia told us some stories about the common area. One time a drunk man above her rolled out of bed and cut open his head. Thankfully we had a booth, a little less entertaining.

The fourth bunk in our booth went to a businessman. This is a common and popular way to travel. Not a bad way to go either. What’s better than being gently rocked to sleep {with occasional sways and jerks giving you the feeling the train has run off the tracks, but you get used to it}. Although, the aroma is a little more pungent, as it always seems to be here and the bathroom is something you want to avoid. Back to the businessman… He was very polite and very silent. Dave was quite surprised when he stripped in front of me to put his pajamas on. Thankfully I was absorbed in my book and didn’t notice.

Dave was concerned we would sleep through our stop. But that was unnecessary. About an hour before you need to get off someone throws open the door and loudly tells you to get up.

Irina met us and we spent a couple of hours at the nearby McDonalds filling out paperwork for the embassy. McDonalds is always packed. Even though they don’t serve breakfast and it’s seven in the morning. But no one there seemed to have a problem with eating a Big Mac at that hour.

Dave and I were on our own at the embassy. I wish we had taken a picture. There was a large crowd of people waiting. Natashia said it is always like this. You can apply for an appt and they will give you a date to come. But you still have to wait in line. She says sometimes you wait for half a day and sometimes you wait all day and have to come back the next. Then they can look you over once and deny you without even an interview or a reason. We were sent right in. I guess because we are Americans. We filled out documents and waited, as usual. There was another couple doing an adoption and two men with fiancés trying to get a visa. Dave thought it was funny that the men, obviously wealthy, were twice the age of the women, both blondes. A win-win situation, he said. Natashia told us later this is very common here. After a couple of hours there we were off to the attorney to sign more papers and to get a power of attorney.

At the subway station

Natashia and her roommate, Lena {also a translator}, were kind enough to let us spend the afternoon at their place. The apartments are similar to where we are now but the grounds are much cleaner. We rode the subway from downtown to their apartment on the other side of the river. After that experience I think I can more fully appreciate the feeling of an animal trapped in a stampede.

After a much needed rest we headed back downtown to meet the Soderberg’s. Kiev is beautiful right now. It’s funny how impressions can change after increased experience, ie staying in Dniprozherzhinsk. And after all, it is spring. The trees and tulips are blooming and the weather is perfect.

The Soderberg’s, Lena {their translator} and I took the night train back to the lovely Dniprodzerzhinsk. We were leaving at eleven again and Dave’s flight was scheduled to leave the next morning at 5:30. So after dropping us off at the train station Irina and Natashia would drop him of at the airport. I’m anxious to find out how his night in the airport was. It is a little scary, to say the least.

This time Lena and I shared a booth with two businessmen. They were not so quiet. They were boisterous but friendly. Lena said we were very lucky. I slept much better this time.

I had forgotten my first reaction to this town until Leslie asked if these apartment building were inhabited. I remembering thinking that we must be in the slums. When walking down the main streets you see beautiful women, dressed to the hilt, and nicely dressed men {it surprising to me that such people can carry such and odor.} It was interesting to find out that these men and women live in these apartments. They are just different living standards than we are used to.

Ok, here’s my philosophical side again. So tune out if you’re not interested. Today I was listening to a BYU devotional given by Arthur Brooks called, “Why Giving Matters.” He said that people who give are more prosperous, statistically. He talked of the importance of giving and the resulting happiness. At one point he said that when governments take upon themselves the responsibility of eliminating poverty the country invariable deteriorates, they are no longer prosper. {If you want his exact words you can find the talk at BYU Speeches online.} This man is an economist, so he was speaking not just theoretically but statistically. This has been fascinating for me to consider as I am living in a country trying to break free of the effects of a communistic government in the past and a socialistic one now.

Car garages

My day was pretty quiet and uneventful. I took the girls on our usual outing to the store. They did much better today with their allotted gryvnas. I gave them each six; Karina a five and a one and Liuba some smaller bills. Karina was very upset by this. She could not understand that although Liuba had more bills they had the same amount of money. She wanted Liuba to give some back to me and even cried. I hope in the end she understood.

We had our day in court. George was late picking us up so we had a mad dash to the orphanage. We met with Ocsana for a rehearsal of what the proceedings would be. She was obviously nervous which made me a little nervous. Our case would only be the second international adoption this judge had done. The other judge mostly reads the adoption documents, not asking many questions but apparently this judge asks a lot of questions. We were told to plan on two hours in the courtroom.

Liuba and Karina came in their orphanage best. Their teacher brought them. She is great and I’m sure she took great pains with them. I wish I had taken a picture. I quickly changed them into the dresses I brought. Oh, how they smelled! I can’t wait to scrub them down from head to foot and put a whole set fresh clothes on them. But, they were beaming. The director had previously coached them how to answer the questions that might me asked.

Then we were off with George to the court. The courtroom was small with only a few benches. Most of the woodwork was particleboard and there was a large wrought iron cage in the corner. In the court room with us were Ocsana, Nadia {the director}, Yana {Karina’a sister}, a social worker, the prosecutor, the judge and two assistant judges. All present were females, except Dave. So far every professional we have met with have been women.

The proceedings began with Dave and I standing and introducing ourselves; our names, date of birth and place of residence. Then the judge asked us if we had any objections to the court and those present. She asked us if we still agreed with our application and petition to adopt these children. No and yes.

Yana, Natashia, Dave, Karina, assistant judge, Liuba, judge, me, assistant judge, director, social worker

Then the judge said she would start with asking Dave questions. Oh dear. I was the one prepared to answer the questions and he was happy to let me. But he did great. She asked him how we met Liuba; we spent a lot of time with her in the States. When did we meet Karina? The SDA showed us a picture and we met her at the orphanage {It is illegal to choose a child to adopt before you arrive}. Why are we adopting two? We think it will be better for them to be together. Will you be able to provide? Yes, they will have the same opportunities and love our current children have. What if they have special needs? We have many resources available. How big is our house? What is our income? How do our children feel about having new sisters? They are very excited. Are our families supportive? Yes. Dave’s father was adopted and they live close and are willing and available to help. Our children are with them now—Grandparents are very important in their culture.

The judge asked me a few questions next. She said, “Working is one thing but staying at home with children is entirely different, this is why you are thin.” She asked us how long we have been married and why we look so young. Then one assistant judge asked a question and the prosecutor asked a couple.

After this they asked about the girls’ history; why they are at the orphanage, how long they have been there and if anyone else has ever showed interest in adopting them. Yana stood and introduced herself and expressed her support. The director gave her permission and support as their legal guardian. Then the girls had their turn.

The judge asked who would go first and Liuba instantly raised her hand and stood up. She loudly and clearly stated her name and birth-date. That girl has no inhibitions. She is a brave one. The judge asked her if she wants to go to the states; Yes, she has been there and she likes it, it is clean. Does she want us to adopt her? Yes, she likes us and our kids. What grade is she in at school? Fourth and she has high marks, ten. Will she obey? She will and she will help. She will do the dishes and clean. Will she like to have Karina as a sister? Yes. Then Liuba reiterated that she will be good and help us, do the dishes and clean. The judge laughed, told her she was tired of answering questions and could sit down. We were all very impressed with her. Later she said she likes to speak in public. Wow!

Karina was not so vocal. She said her name but would not really respond to the questions. The judge proceeded to lecture her, in a motherly way. She needed to be brave, like Liuba. And she is so small. She needs to eat better and do more sports. Then she told Liuba she needs to take care of Karina. She is not so sure of herself.

Usually at the end the judge and her assistants will leave and discuss then return with their decision. But she said she didn’t want to keep us waiting. She asked the prosecutor to give her decision. Affirmative. Then the Judge said they agreed. That was it. In all it lasted maybe an hour. Ocsana was extremely and pleasantly surprised. The judge asked us if we had a camera and wanted a picture. After the picture was taken Liuba looked at it and loudly approved. The judge said, “If Liuba approves we will be happy.” She really liked Liuba. The judge and her assistants were very friendly.

We invited all there to lunch and while we were waiting for a car, we had to make three separate trips, a man in a suit came over and told us he was very impressed. He thought it was amazing we were so young and wanted to adopt and especially during this financial crisis. He asked that God bless and help us. We found out he was formally in Ukraine’s equivalent to the FBI.

The judge and the prosecutor didn’t come to lunch but everyone else was there. I won’t mention the price, but hey, how often can you celebrate something like this? As we were about to eat Liuba wished everyone “bon appetite." Later she gave Karina half her fries and said she was taking care of her like she promised. Karina finished everything on her plate. The director even had to wait for her while she shoveled in Liuba's fries.

The conversation at lunch was very intriguing. Here’s the part for those of only interesting in updates to stop reading. Ocsana and Natashia were the only ones able to speak English. She we talked mostly with Ocsana and she translated to the others.

We started by talking about the judge and why our court proceedings were so pleasant. As I said our adoption is only the second for her and the fifth in this region. There was only one last year and it was an Italian couple. Apparently it was a nightmare. It took four months, mainly because none of the documents were prepared right and the judge had to do much of it on his own. When Ocsana met with him the first time he was very friendly until she told him what she wanted. Then he harshly and quickly told her to leave. She asked him just to listen for a minute and he agreed. She showed him all the documents and application she had prepared. She had essentially done all his work for him. So he agreed.

For some reason she had to meet with the female judge for the next adoption. The judge told her she would only do one international adoption a month. But Ocsana is a quick thinker. She went and talked to the male judge and told him they don’t want a complaint with the embassy. He got her another meeting. She said by the end the judge was calling her by the name her mothers call her.

Still the last case was the first for the judge and she was very nervous and not very nice. But Ocsana said the judge trusts her now. Ocsana makes it easy for her, doing all the work for her and answering her question about the law. Ocsana said the judge knows Ocsana will make the decisions for her and even asked her what to do with ours. Ocsana told her she would give us a positive decision today. And she did, very quickly and pleasantly, too.

Maybe in the States it’s all about who you know but it doesn’t even compare to here. Ocsana has the system down like the back of her hand. She told us she has two degrees. Her first is acting. Her second is civil law. With her job apparently the two go hand in hand. She knows how to make friends and is an especially good gift-giver, which is essential in Ukraine. She is amazing. She says she loves her job because she can see results and makes a difference. Her husband has been doing adoptions for ten years. The entire team here is great, highly recommended.

Of course the conversation led to political economics again. We asked if most people plant gardens here. We were told everyone who can does, especially the older generation. Many live entirely off their crops. Ocsana said they can remember the hard times and even when life isn’t so hard it is so engrained in them that they won’t stop. Ocsana told us in the thirties, when Stalin was in power, there were two years in particular that were horrible. Even though the crop was very good people starved. They even turned to cannibalism. The government took everything and exported it to make money not caring what would happen to those at home. Of course we know the horrors caused by Stalin.

Dave asked why there are still monuments of Stalin. She said those who didn’t see the evil he caused could not believe he did any harm. They thought he was a great man. The records are finally public and many people are just now learning of those atrocities. We asked again if people feel times are better now or under communism. She said the older generation feels that communism was better because they were always provided for {except when they weren’t. But I guess its human nature to idolize the past when times are tough.} Now from day to day they are sure how they will live. But the present generation thinks it better because when you work more you get more {Mises law.} In Communism everyone gets the same no matter how much you work {thus no incentive. This would be the cause for low quality state institutions, like hospitals.} It’s easy to see in a country still suffering the effects of communism and socialism why these forms suppress progress in countless ways.

New windows

We went to the school later to give our donation. They are using it for new windows. We met with the girls’ teacher. She is a very kind and loving lady. It is obvious she cares for and loves these girls. She said she has been with them since they first arrived. They cried a lot and were nervous but they became more confident. She said they are good girls and she doesn’t have any problems with them. She will miss them but she said they need families. It’s so important. I’m grateful they have been loved and cared for, even if they had to be raised in an institution.

Towels and toothbrushes lined up in classroom. I wish the girls used them.

We are taking the night train to Kiev to sign power-of-attorney documents tomorrow. I will return on the following night and Dave will take the Wednesday morning flight home. Guess I’m on my own for the next few weeks. We want to thank everyone for their prayers and support and ask for a continuance of them.

The girls are going to miss Natasia she will miss them. I will miss Natashia, too!








p.s. Waiving the ten day waiting period was not an option. It is the law.

Wallpaper is cheaper than paint here so most people use that instead. Our entire apartment is wallpapered, including the ceiling. The paint that is used is more like chalk and comes off if rubbed against it. Constantine is always getting after Dave for having a dirty coat because he has brushed up against the walls.

Dave and I were lulled to sleep last night by a man outside, obviously drunk, passionately singing “To dream the impossible dream” in Russian. I don’t know if that spurred my nightmare or not but it was a bad one. I dreamt I came home to find that Becky had decorated the girls’ room with a myriad of wallpaper. The beds, bedding and decorations resembled our current apartment, which to say the least, isn’t my style {as Emi always says}. I was speechless as she assured me she had decorated using the best of the best.

Enough of cereal, yogurt, toast, mac n’ cheese, etc. I determined I wanted fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Nothing and nobody was going to stand in my way. They could try but they should be warned, they’re taking their life in their own hands, there is no lifeguard on duty, proceed at your own risk, etc.

A funeral. The thing standing against the wall is the casket.

When we stopped at the store last night I bought the fixings. Getting the chicken from the meat counter was a little interesting. I found what looked like chicken breast. I hope it was. Try as I might I couldn’t help but notice the whole fish that everyone before me ordered. When it was my turn I pointed to the chicken. The lady pointed to the fish and said something, probably how much. I pointed to the chicken again and held up seven fingers. She said something again and I said, “Ya ne pani mayo,” I don’t understand. I’ve managed to perfect that phrase. Then I counted to seven. She understood.

The next problem was finding chicken bouillon. The only thing I could find that remotely looked like it would work was a small packet with a picture of fried chicken on front. We called and invited the Straders for lunch the next day and with visions of my planned meal in my head I was able to swallow Ramen for dinner.

We had hoped again to go to Dnipropotrosk for church but Constantine is out of town and we can’t take the girls in a cab. With Conference in the background I started the meal and quite enjoyed myself. The first problem came when I opened the packet of what I thought was chicken bouillon. It ended up being seasoning for frying chicken. I searched the cupboard here and found a jar of chicken bouillon. Perfect. Now I had flavoring for my chicken and bouillon.

I started frying the chicken while boiling the potatoes. The aroma took me back to Grandma Karren’s house and I thought I was in heaven. Everything was going great. I drained the potatoes and put some butter in. But as I poured from the bag of milk I noticed something wasn’t right. The consistency was more like buttermilk and it tasted sour. Kefir. So Dave was off to the store. He came back with a different bag but the same thing. But by the time I figured it out he had gone to meet the Straders at the bus stop. So I had to call Bill to ask him to tell Dave to stop and get more milk. He came back with yet another bag of kefir. Finally we deciphered the word meaning kefir and he brought home milk.

I got the potatoes squared away and went to finishing the gravy. But when I opened the can of bouillon inside was a white powder. Hmmm. I sniffed. It didn’t smell like anything much less chicken. I tasted. It was a little salty but again not chicken. I thought, “Well, maybe it does something magical when added to liquid.” I added just a little but couldn’t detect a difference. Leslie smelled and tasted and determined it was not bouillon but baking powder. Duh. No wonder my gravy was rising and bubbling. It was lacking in flavor but not lightness.

Despite the mishaps the meal was a hit. My craving was satisfied, we had great company and we were all grateful for a home-cooked, familiar meal. After all, what’s more American than fried chicken?

We picked the girls up this afternoon and took a stroll to the park. We are all happy Natashia came back for a few days. The rides were running when we got there and we decided we would give them 15 gryvnas each. We had Natashia explain this had to last them the whole day, including a stop at the store. When it’s gone it’s gone. The rides were 5 gryvna each. They quickly chose one and when that was over they wanted to go on another. We reminded them they only had 10 gryvna left. Liuba pocketed hers and said she would save it for later. Karina ran to the other ride. I felt like I was with Emi and Luke. Emi is always saving and Luke spends money as fast as he gets it.

But Karina did decide to wait to spend the rest until we got to the store. I knew right when we walked into the store we were in trouble. The girls went crazy. I wonder if they have ever had their own money to spend before. I kept pointing to the money they held in their hands and the price tags. I told Karina she didn’t have enough and she shushed me with her hand and said papa would pay. So I figured they’d have to learn the hard way, at the register.

They finally settled on about three items each. Liuba was first in line. The lady rang in the first item and it came to 13 g. I showed Liuba the amount and pointed to her money. She understood and I thought the lady did too because she hurried away with the item. Dave was getting impatient and I had to shoo him away lest he ruin this priceless learning experience. He’s leaving in a few days and won’t have to deal with this. I’m going to be dealing with this for another three weeks. Not to mention that this is not reality. We don’t live like this at home.

Not only had the lady not understood but she returned with two more of the same thing and rang them in. Forty-nine g. I did the best I could at explaining and finally she got it and set them aside. Liuba happily settled on one treat ringing in at eight g and sixty-eight cents. Later she gave Dave her change for safekeeping. She said the other kids would bother her about it.

Karina was next and she didn’t have enough to pay for anything she had. So we went back to square one. I showed her several option but she only wanted what she couldn’t afford so we finally just left. She cried but there was no pouting or running off. I felt bad but how else can we help them understand. We’re not made of money. Frankly, after this trip we’re broke. And even if we weren’t we don’t generally do handouts with our kids. I don’t want them to have false expectations of what our home is like.

Liuba gave her quite a lecture on the way back. She reminded Karina that she went on an extra ride and that was why she didn’t have more money. Then she told her not to worry. Everything would be ok. This is a side of Liuba I haven’t seen before. Usually it is the other way around with Karina lecturing Liuba. We did pass the scone place on the way back and Karina bought three. She generously shared with all of us. They were really good and in my head I was sitting in my Grandma Porter’s kitchen eating fresh, warm scones. It’s been a good food day.

Liuba’s cheek is even more swollen today. She rubbed it a few times but when I asked if it hurt she quickly said no. Later she said she, “doesn’t want to go to the hospital here. They’re bad. In the states they are good.” I wonder if that is why she won’t admit it hurts. Apparently they take sickness very seriously here. Strader’s said one of the girls they are adopting spent several days in the hospital for what was essentially acne. She asked them to get her out of there saying it was very dirty. They were also told when a woman has a baby they stay for at least a week. Natashia has told us you want to stay away from state hospitals. The doctors do not have enough training and can buy their degrees. Scary.

Tomorrow morning is court. Liuba is so excited. She asked about it all day wanting to know what she had to say and what she would be wearing. She wants to wear her sport outfit. From what I’ve heard, the judges in this region actually read all the paper work and it lasts for about two hours. Dave says he’s going to ask that the ten days be waived so I can get home and care for our other children also. I highly doubt Ocsana will let him but I sure wish it were a possibility. Apparently the waiting period used to be 30 days but they always waived it. Not so anymore.

The Straders took us to the market this morning. The only thing I can think to compare it to is the flee market in Maui, except for much larger and more crowded. Leading up to the market was a line of old men and women selling everything you can imagine and even more you would never imagine; rusty old tools, bolts and washers, aprons, old keys to who-knows-what, perennial starts from their gardens, bras… It was all old and used and I’m sure this is their livelihood. It is common to see babooskas selling preserves and vegetables on the street corners. I would love to talk to them about their living and growing in a land struggling for freedom and knowing what to do with it.

There were booths selling everything from wallpaper to clothes to books to hunting knives. I was in search of sweat outfits for the girls to wear on the trip home. Thankfully we had decided to shop before we picked up the girls. Having them would’ve been a living nightmare but without them we had to guess on the size. The booths didn’t carry a variety of sizes so we had to search many booths but we finally found them.

I wanted to find sneakers for them as well but Julia was anxious to get to the school to play soccer. The straders think it has been a little hard for Julia to only be with them. These kids are used to being with their friends twenty-four/seven. I can imagine that as much as they want families it is a huge and difficult adjustment.

We were going to catch the bus to the orphanage. It’s about a mile and a half walk. Dave and I were behind the Straders and when Dave got on the bus the driver said, “niet! I tried to tell him Dave was with me but he said, “niet! There was still plenty of standing room on the bus and Dave tried to give him money but he said, “niet! So we got off the bus and walked to the orphanage. The Straders thought there was a maximum capacity but just that morning we had been on a bus packed so full you couldn’t move. Some of the drivers are so grouchy. I wonder how they choose whom to pick on? Then again, that must be a very monotonous, not to mention stinky, job. They’ve got to take it out on someone I guess. But hey, we showered today.

The orphanage is also a boarding school. There are about five hundred students. Only 120 are orphans. The rest go home on the weekends and holidays. The kids were outside playing when we arrived. Some were playing soccer, the most popular sport in Ukraine. Others were playing Red Rover. Many crowded around us trying to show off by talking to us. Some of them asked us to take them home with us. They would spread their wings like they were flying. One boy even said he would be good. Another boy did push-ups for Dave; you name it, normal push-ups, fingertip push-ups, knuckle push-ups… There are so many cute kids. Any takers?

We decided to go to lunch. Julia wanted to bring Ocsana. She is thirteen and very sweet. Liuba and Karina were as cute as ever, wolves in sheep’s clothing I think. We went to the English menu pizza place. The kids all ordered salads and loved them. Fancy that. I noticed when I first saw Liuba that her cheek was swollen. I tried to ask her if it hurt but she shook her head. I even had Julia try to ask. Julia just pantomimed that she is getting chubby because she eats too much.

I noticed she was eating slowly and carefully. Then when we asked her is she wanted ice cream she rubbed her cheek and said, “niet, fruita.” Every time she has ice cream she always gives it away, even when she was in Utah. Now I know why. I looked in her mouth and sure enough there is a gaping hole. Poor thing!It breaks my heart to know she has been suffering with this for so long. I’m going to ask Ocsana if there is something we can do about it while we are here. The state may cover it, but I’m not sure if that is a good thing.

Karina, Ocsana, Julia, Leslia, Bill, Me and Liuba

We stopped at the Strader’s hotel and played some more Skipbo. The kids wanted to watch “Ukraine talent.” Can you guess what that is? Liuba and Karina tried on their outfits and loved them. They didn’t want to change but I am happy to report that they obeyed with only a couple of frowns and “pajayiustas.” When we were getting ready to leave Liuba started to pout again. Luckily Julia was able to translate that she wanted to stay. Our mystery from yesterday is solved. I’m pretty sure she thinks that is where Dave and I are living and can’t understand why Julia gets to stay and she doesn’t. She sulked the whole way home but overall it a much happier ending.

We bought hot dogs last night for dinner. I think in our whole married life I may have purchased hot dogs once, and that was probably for a barbeque. We are both feeling pretty desperate for something substantial and familiar. They looked normal enough in the store. We found ketchup and mustard. There were no buns so we bought white bread.

When I opened the hotdogs this is what I found.

The actual dog was wrapped in some kind of plastic. You know how in the states they are firm and precooked? Not so here. They were about the texture of a baked potato, pale and slimy. Not something I would handle well on a normal, non-pregnancy, first-trimester day. But like I said we were desperate. I figured if I cooked it crisp and black I could handle it. I thought I could slice it into thin strips but when I tried it became mush. Ugh! It stuck to the pan, not normal. So on top of that lump of who-knows-what I had to add margarine. The place filled with smoke, good thing there aren’t fire alarms, I guess. I hope I didn’t ruin the pan.

I made a nice looking sandwich if I do say so myself: hot dog, pickles, cheese, ketchup and mustard. When we bit into it we realized the mustard was hot. The packaging showed it served on a hot dog, but it tasted like Chinese mustard. Dave really liked it. I couldn’t get over my cooking experience and gave mine to Dave. But that wasn’t the end. The smoke and smell seeped into everything. You know how smells and pregnancy go together, like putting two positive ends of a magnet together. We got extra blankets and slept with the windows open. Even then, when I put my coat on this morning it reeked of hot dogs. It ended up being a meal that keeps giving, much to my dismay. What I learned from the experience? I will never tease Andrew or Paul again for having my mom send them hot sauce while on their missions.

The bags are ketchup and mustard.

This morning Constantine took us shopping. He was supposed to take us to a shop that sold native, hand-made dolls. The native and hand-made must have been lost in translation because he took us to a toy store. Natashia is gone so Dave was on his own in conveying what he was looking for. Constantine finally got the native part but he never quite understood the handmade part.

Somewhere in the midst of shopping Constantine lost his train of thought and took us site seeing. He showed us the factory where her works, the catholic and orthodox churches. He wasn’t satisfied with the amount of pictures I was taking. He kept telling me, “Don’t worry,” while pantomiming taking a picture. Finally in the Orthodox Church he took my camera and snapped

about twenty pictures.

Constantine in front of his factory.

The roads here are horrible. They give “pothole” a whole new meaning. It’s quite entertaining, as long as you’re not a passenger, watching cars weave around as if they were on Lombard Street in San Francisco. It’s obvious tax dollars do not go to fixing roads.

Oh, what a little bit of color can do.

Constantine took us to a pizza restaurant with an English menu. Hallelujah. We will be frequenting that place. They even had shakes although they tasted a little funny. I’m not sure they weren’t spiked. Dave drank his and mine.

Some church ladies doing the laundry.

The Strader’s were at the orphanage and we decided to spend the afternoon. What a blessed relief to be with people we can carry on a conversation with. We walked to their hotel, which was actually pretty nice and not expensive. If I have to move from this apartment when Dave leaves I will ask to go there. We played Skipbo, snacked and talked. Tomorrow we are going to the market. Maybe we can find a doll there.

Liuba must’ve left something at the hotel when we left. For the life of us we couldn’t cipher what she was saying and she was royally ticked. Karina thought it would be fun to follow suit, although she was doing it for attention. She walked ahead or behind trying to keep a straight face and

Karina trying not to smile.

Liuba just lectured and pouted. It was entertaining at first but by the time we got to the orphanage Dave and I were reconsidering taking them home with us. Oh that we could speak the same language. This behavior would’ve landed Emi and Luke in their bedrooms for a week {that might be an exaggeration.} Liuba understood at the end when I said, “Niet zaftra,” no tomorrow,

that this wasn't ok!

The look of death!

She tried to get Karina to stop, fitting since she started it in the first place, but Karina was having too much fun. Finally, I marched her up to the director’s office and handed her over. It’s obvious she’s testing her limits. They both have their way of doing this. As she and Liuba were walking back to their quarters Karina turned around and yelled, “Mama,” followed by something else. I think she was apologizing. Oh the joys of parenthood.

Some of the many stray dogs.

Ever seen Ground Hogs Day? We’re living it. At least the days we don’t have some document to sign or appointment to make. I’m sure it will only get worse. Don’t get me wrong. We are not unhappy. It’s just that we don’t have much control over what we do or where we go. But I am happy with my books and Dave works, works, works.


Our nightly trip to the store in front of our apartment complex

We met the girls today at the appointed hour. They were disappointed we didn’t come yesterday. Liuba said, “We waited and waited and you never came.” How sad. If we had known we would’ve told them the day before.


Liuba and Karina in front of the orphanage

Their teacher met us today to ask about what they should wear for their court day. Should she find the best clothes available or will we bring something. She was really nice. I told her I had brought dresses for them to wear. It will be so nice to see them wearing something different and clean. Liuba has been asking all week to see the dress we brought her for court day. She’s very excited. We asked today if she prefers wearing dresses or pants. Pants. Karina prefers dresses.

I brought clothes for the girls, at least Liuba. I was pretty sure we wouldn’t adopt Karina so I didn’t prepare very well for her. I do have a dress for her. I hope it fits. She is very petite. But I don’t have shoes. So today, for something to do, we decided to hunt for shoes and a larger bag for me. When Dave goes I’ll need something I can cram a lot of things in to lug with me back and forth from the orphanage.


Shopping

Thank heaven Natashia has been with us this whole time. She is great. After several tries we found a bag and a children’s clothing store with shoes for Karina. She has tiny feet, smaller than Luke’s. I had her take her shoes off to try them on. Oh boy. That was a mistake. They smelled the way Luke’s smell after wearing his snow boots without any socks. And her socks looked like an outgrowth of her skin.

Liuba informed us after the court date we can get her a sport outfit. When we were in the clothing store she found one she liked and begged for it. Karina wanted underwear of all things. She said she needs them. I assured her I brought plenty {thanks to Marnie and Dave’s mom.}

Considering our big shopping day the girls were great. They didn’t complain about walking or beg too excessively. Just about what I am used to with Emi, Luke and Preston. What a relief.

“We have good new.” Ocsana said when we got back. Oleg, her husband, drove to Kiev today and got the paper signed. We will know one hundred percent tomorrow if our court day is Monday. Looks like Dave will be able to leave on Wednesday. I am so jealous. But I will brazen myself and I’m sure I’ll be fine.

Natashia left tonight for her hometown to visit her family. So we are on our own this weekend. It has been so nice to have her but I think the girls use her as a crutch, as do we. Hopefully the girls will realize they need to try to communicate with us in something other than Russian. And Dave and I will have to manage things like telling the bus driver where to stop.

Natashia has been trying to get a visa so she can go away to work this summer to teach kite surfing. She wants to go to the sea and practice her Spanish and Portuguese. She has accepted a position for the middle of may hoping her visa would come through but she found out today she cannot apply for another thirty days. She said it is impossible to make plans here. How frustrating. I wish there was a way we could help. And I wish we could find a way to get her to the states. She would love to teach snow boarding and as far as languages go she is very versatile. Park City would be perfect.

Turkey and Egypt are the popular destination spots for Ukranians. You can buy a visa for only thirty dollars at the airport and the trip is inexpensive, 600 dollars includes airfare, lodging and food. What I wouldn’t give to travel somewhere like that over the ten-day waiting period. Anyone up for meeting me?

Waiting...

We didn’t see the girls today. We were too busy waiting. “Waiting for what?” You might ask. I’m not quite sure. What I do know is Ocsana and Co were trying to solidify our court date. Holy moly! What a complicated process. For the life of me I cannot figure it out. Thank heaven for our miracle workers, both seen and unseen.

Ocsana was supposed to pick us up at two to go the Courthouse but first she was going to call us. We waited and waited and she didn’t call. What do we do when we wait? We sleep until we cannot possibly sleep any longer. For me it is one or two hours less to feel yucky. Dave works until one or two in the morning and we like him to get plenty of sleep so he’s not too grouchy. We read. We check our emails and comments on our blog. We eat.

Finally Natashia called her and she said to come to the Orphanage, she was waiting for some document to be signed. At the Orphanage Natasha translated some our application to the court asking. It includes things like the girl’s birth dates, their home life, why they are in the Orphanage, why they haven’t been adopted by someone here, their health, permission granted by those needing to grant permission, Dave’s employment, what I do, about our home, about our children, why we want to adopt, our insurance and income, etc. After we verified and signed those papers, we waited. Apparently we were waiting for a phone call. Thankfully we had our books.

The Straders showed up after awhile offering a nice diversion from our waiting. They had just returned from Sumy where they are adopting two fourteen year-olds. They have five of their own children, making eight. Their ten days are up with Julia, now they have to get her passport, do a medical check and go to the embassy. Once that is done they will pick up their other two girls from Sumy and do the same for them. They will have been here seven weeks.

The Straders filled us in on the Evenson’s. Their court date was successful but they cannot take their son home. They have to wait on something from Russia, I think a birth certificate. That could take up to six months. So they will have to return a third time. Oh my goodness! These families are amazing.

Anyway, we waited and waited. At 4:45, Ocsana suddenly jumped up and said, “We have to go, now!!” We followed her too slowly. She turned and said, “You guys, hurry!” So we ran. George, our driver, made a mad dash to the courthouse. We have previously dashed, just not madly. I guess I’m becoming a little more accustomed to these drives because the near misses don’t alarm me quite so much. Put some Indiana Jones music(for you Diane) in the background and its almost exciting; dodging potholes, cars, dogs and people all at the same time while evading oncoming cars at the last second by an inch. It’s really quite exhilarating. Oh, and here’s another rule for driving: when making a turn, don’t slow down.

At the courthouse George screeched to a stop, we jumped out and ran in where Ocsana told us to wait. So we waited… Have I mentioned that all women wear boots with about 4” heels? I was waiting on the edge of my chair lest Ocsana should appear and reprimand us for not being ready, I’m not sure for what. Every time I heard the clicking of heels I jumped. But it was never her. Finally, I determined to try to distinguish the sound of her heels. At first they all sounded the same. But then I remembered her heels were a little thick, not stiletto. The clicking of that heel is a little denser. And Ocsana is quite short and walks quickly with a short stride. After an hour I distinguished her heels coming and she appeared with an older lady. Ocsana no longer had the anxious look of earlier. This time she had an accommodating and gracious smile and it was obvious she wanted us to do the same.

The lady was very kind. She said she would meet with us on Monday. Then Ocsana said, “I should tell you this is the chief judge.” Oh, This explains Ocsana’s behavior. The judge talked to us for awhile. Unfortunately most of it was lost in translation. It’s funny how a whole paragraph can be translated in one sentence. Hmmm. I’m not so sure about that. When she was done we thanked her and she said, “God bless you.”

Later Ocsana told us it was a miracle this happened. I said we had been praying for miracles.She walked into the office right as they were closing but the judge invited her in and even offered to give us Monday as our court date. We were told the earliest would be Tuesday so we are very pleased. Then Ocsana said it isn’t for sure. Apparently they need some signature from the SDA in Kiev. But the SDA was closed for today and we need it by tomorrow. Usually they send documents like this on the overnight train but now someone will have to drive to Kiev tomorrow, which, as Ocsana said, "But guys, this will be expensive." But it is either that or a few more days here. I think we’ll pay. The other problem is it has to be dated today. Ocsana says we have a good contact there, but this isn’t exactly legal. So we had one small miracle today but we need several more. We’ll see what happens.

Sorry, no pictures today. It’s really late and it takes forever to load pictures. Until tomorrow…

We met Karina’s sister today. She traveled three hours by bus from where she attends university. I don’t know how to pronounce or spell the town she lives in. Up until August of last year she lived at another orphanage. She said she cried when she had to leave because she had gotten used to it and it had become home. She like her teacher and had friends there.

I guess the government offers financial aid to students. If you came from an orphanage you get more. To attend the university is free. Natashia said you have to pay to go so maybe it is free to orphans only. I’m not sure. Yana, Karina’s sister, is studying the Ukrainian and German languages. The university she attends specializes in literature and languages. She likes to study and from what Natashia said she is intelligent and has a good head on her shoulders.

Yana and Karina

Karina and Yana were separated six years ago and up until last fall Yana didn’t know where Karina was. Can you imagine being taken from your mom, separated from your sister and put into a strange orphanage? I’m sure Yana was worried about Karina but had no ability to do anything about it. And poor Karina, being only five, must’ve been terrified. It is obvious they both care a lot about each other.

When Yana finally found Karina she came and took her to her home for the fall vacation. I could tell it made Yana sad to let Karina go but she said it is better for her to go to the States. Yana was worried at first about agreeing to this but after talking to us she said she felt better.

The girls with the director, Nadia. She loves these kids and thankfully, is a very gracious host to those of us adopting.

We asked Yana about their home life. She said their mother was good and loved them. Yana lived with her Grandpa in the same town because it was too hard for her mother to care for both of them. We were told their mother lost custody but Yana didn’t say anything negative. It is apparent she loved her mother.

Yana stayed with us for the afternoon. Karina would not leave her side. She loves her very much. I’m sure Karina has mixed feelings and feels sad about leaving her sister. She didn’t want to let her go today. She insisted on walking her to the gate of the orphanage and kept hugging and kissing her. Ugh. It nearly breaks my heart.

We cannot adopt Yana although she is officially available until August when she turns eighteen. There has to be at least fifteen years between her age and ours; I am thirty-two, so there are only fourteen years difference. That and the fact that she wrote a letter granting her permission are favorable conditions for the judge to agree for them to be separated, even though they’ve already been separated for six years and Yana has not the means or intention of caring for Karina.

Anya, the very capable school attorney

Karina and Yana couldn’t look more different. They have different fathers. I tried to find even one similar attribute but couldn’t, although they are both beautiful. Yana is tall with light hair, brown eyes and a square face. Karina is very petite with nearly black hair, blue eyes and a thin face. Yana said she looks like her mother and Karina looks like her father. Yana was sad that Karina’s hair is shorn. She says when she was taken she had long, curly hair.

Our court date is tentatively planned for next Tuesday. We were hoping for Monday. Yana will be coming back for that. We had to choose names today for the girls. Oh dear. In my sleep this morning, I’m pretty sure I was asleep although my thoughts were clear, I was trying to choose a name for Liuba. I was hoping to keep her name the same but she is insistent. She keeps asking if we’ve chosen a name. Anyway, in my sleep I was trying to think of a name. I think it’s more difficult to choose a name for someone you already know than for a baby. Liuba has a very distinct personality and I wanted a name to fit that, as well as a meaningful name. I wanted the name of a person she could look up to, or a family name. I remember feeling that I was close to the right name when I thought of Louisa. Then Lucy came to me and I knew I had it. Dave’s great-grandmother was Lucy Ballard Madsen and I also regard Lucy Mack Smith as a hero. Also, and this is really silly, but Liuba’s personality reminds me of Lucille Ball.

Ocsana, our brilliant facilitator

So this was all in my sleep this morning. I didn’t think about it when I woke up. Then Ocsana came in the room when we were talking to Yana handed us a sticky note and told us she needed the girls’ names right then. “Are you serious?” I asked. Dave and I hadn’t even really talked about it. “Yes.” She said and stood there waiting. Speechless, I looked at Dave. Karina was easy. We planned on keeping her name the same. So all we had to come up with was a middle name. Dave’s mother and grandmother are named Mary. Karina Mary Bunch. Karina was in the room at the time. We asked her if she liked that name. She grinned and said yes.

We tossed out few names for Liuba then I remembered my “dream.” I said “What about Lucy?” Dave said that was old fashioned. I agreed. He thought for a minute and said that was his great-grandmother’s name and felt that should be her name. We also wanted to keep Liuba as a middle name. Lucy Liuba Bunch. Later when Liuba came in we asked her if she liked that name. “Lucy Liuba Bunch,” she repeated, then said, “Da. Lucy Liuba Bunch”

Natashia, Ocsana, and Yana

As promised we made a trip to the store. Dave was hoping they wouldn’t remember. Ha, there was no chance of that. It was much smoother today. After only a small haggle with Karina about choosing the individual size of chips over the full size, we were done. As we were walking back to the orphanage, Liuba was looking at pictures on Dave’s phone. She saw one of Luke and said, “bring Luke here to me in Ukraine.” I told her I was taking her to America instead. She said again she wants to see Emi, Luke and Preston as soon as possible. She also keeps asking us when our court date is. She is so excited and says she wants to live with us during the ten-day waiting period, not at the orphanage. We had explain that’s not allowed.

That’s all for today. Thanks for all your comments. It’s good to hear from you all.

I was finally able to find Katya to give her the present the family adopting her sent. She is a beautiful girl. She says she misses her family very much. I am so glad she has a family who loves her and is coming for her. She will be so excited to see them.

The day started better than it ended. The girls wanted to give us kisses and tell us they loved us. It ended with a lecture we couldn’t understand from Liuba and Karina walking away from us.

We have gone to the store with the girls nearly every day since we have been here. We haven’t stocked up on groceries like we do at home and we are always in need of something. Plus it’s something to do to kill the time. We always let the girls choose one treat. We decided today not to stop at the store. We had just taken the girls to lunch after they had already had lunch at the orphanage and decided they didn’t need anything else.

The statue of Lenin in Dniprodzerzhynsk

“Magazine?” Store, Liuba asked right as we came out of the restaurant. “Zaftra.” Tomorrow, we said. We had about a mile to walk and the begging and pouting lasted the whole way. Karina actually didn’t beg this time. I think it was more of a game with her. She followed Liuba’s lead thinking it was fun to pout and walked on ahead. Liuba would not relent. “Please, please. Just one?” Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

This one shows Liuba's personality

It’s kind of nice not to understand what she is saying when she is pouting and whining. It’s easier to ignore her. But by the time we got to the orphanage, and we caught up with Karina, we decided something had to be done. Thank goodness for Natashia to translate. I told them at home Emi, Luke and Preston don’t get treats everyday, only on special occasions or if they earn them. And when they pout and whine they loose privileges. When they act this way we don’t want to do anything special for them. They both said ok and then Liuba walked the other way. We asked where she was going and she said, “Aren’t we going to the store now?” Oh dear.

At the orphanage a crowd of kids gathered, as usual. Dave played frisbie with a few boys and the girls and I jump roped. Liuba has a luny side and made it very difficult. She is a tease and likes to get a reaction. Karina kept getting after her. Liuba was not being very nice today. She was teasing relentlessly. I know she does it for attention but it is very trying, especially not being able to communicate with her.

A group of teenage girls gathered. The Soderberg’s Julia came also. They teased with me back and forth. One girl told me her name was a boy’s name. I told her she was beautiful for a boy. They laughed. I spoke a few of the Russian words I know and Julia told me if I want to learn Russian she will teach me tomorrow. She is a great kid.

Karina loves to take pictures. This is me saying,"Can I have the camera, please?" Notice the strained smile.

Dave was anxious to leave today. It’s surprising that these days can be so exhausting. They are not physically strenuous but they are very emotionally draining. Being in a strange place, not being able to understand or make yourself understood, getting to know two children, seeing all these kids without families, etc. is very taxing. We appreciate all your comments so keep making them. Hearing from you strengthens and sustains us.




By the way, we are now officially accepting hand-me-downs :)